Thursday, September 6, 2012

TOPIC: FRIENDSHIP, LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP!!!............CHAPTER THREE!!



CHAPTER  THREE
GETTING TO KNOW YOURSELF

In the former chapter, we’ve seen that, Friendship is a good relationship or/and close relationship, between two or more people. We also defined that, Friendship is a sharing of one’s life with another or other people/beings, in various aspects of our everyday life; such as interests and hobbies, the pleasures and pains of life, etc. Also, we said, Friendship is a relationship of one’s own choice, of whom to be related to and how to be related to from the bases of appreciation and satisfaction of one own heart’s desires. And lastly, we said, Friendship is a agreement to a commitment of one’s life to the other, on the basis of hearts desires, choice and satisfaction, for a particular purpose / direction.



We have also seen that, friends are very important people in our lives; we really need friends. We were not created to be self sufficient; therefore, we need each other. First, we need friends for filling and expressing the human need of love and care. Secondly, we need friends to fill the human need of social interaction. Thirdly, we need friends in order to know and understand ourselves and others. Fourthly, we need friends, for personality and character development. Fifth, we need friends for help and support. Sixth, we need friends for spiritual growth. And lastly, seventh, we learned that, we need friends in order to find a good and suitable marriage partner. That was very good.



But now, in this good chapter, I want explain to you that, in order to for a person to have good relationships, he/she needs to have a very good understanding of himself or herself; this is due to the fact that, a good relationship depends so much on how a person relates to his own self or her own self. Therefore, in order to for a person to have good relationships, he/she needs to have a very good understanding of himself or herself.



Quoting the words of Christ the Lord Himself, from the book of Mathew, the Bible says;



Mat 22:36 



  36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law? 37Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment. 39And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.



It is not common or usual to find Christians, talking much about loving ‘yourself’; But to be honest, you cannot give what you don’t have! The Bible says “… but such as I have, give I thee ...” (Acts 3:6). This is just to show us, God expects you to invest in yourself  before you are able to give yourself to someone else. Remember that, Friendship is all about giving and sharing.



We defined Friendships as; a decision or agreement someone makes, to commitment his or her life to another, on the basis of hearts desires, choice and satisfaction, for a particular purpose of sharing ones life with the other /others/ beings.  

Therefore, you cannot give into a commitment (friendship) that which you don’t have. From the above definition, Friendship is all about giving and sharing your life in various aspects of life; such as interests, hobbies, ambitions, desires, visions and dreams, plans and problems, expectations and surprises, believes and faith, discouragements and disappointments, pleasures and pains, etc;.



From the definition of Friendship as the sharing of one’s life with another or other people/beings, This is to say, someone can not automatically be able to give into that relationship, which he/she does not have. Therefore, with this concept, you need to really invest in your-self, so that when the right time comes, and the right person is revealed to you, then you may be able to give what is expected of you. And also when the right time comes, you may be able to be what is expected of you to be for the person and to that person. Therefore, you really need to invest in your-self. Now let’s start by ‘Getting to know your-self



Getting to know ourselves. 

Who are you?

It’s very important that every one of us may get to know the real himself or herself and also know how you relate to yourself. The Bible clearly shows us that, we as human beings, are tri-beings; meaning, we are three in one. Let me repeat what I said earlier, I said, In order to for a person to have good relationships, he/she needs to have a very good understanding of him or herself due to the fact that, a good relationship depends so much on how a person relates to him or herself. And with that, I can go on saying, you cannot perfectly relate to yourself, if you do not know yourself.



Therefore, there is a need of getting to know yourself; and the Bible clearly shows us that, we as human beings, we are tri-beings; meaning, we are three in one; that’s to say, you are a spirit, with a soul and a body. Now let’s read from the truth and see what the truth has to say about this;



And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  (1Thessalonians 5:23) 



Now let’s go way back to the beginning of everything, when the Lord God made and formed everything; the Bible say from the book of Genesis:



And God said; Let us make man, in our likeness ... And the LORD God formed man (bodily) of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life (spirit); and man became a living soul. (Genesis 1:26, Genesis  2:7)



Therefore, the Bible clearly shows us that, we as human beings, we are tri-beings; meaning, we are three in one; that’s to say, we are spirits, with souls and bodies. Now let’s read from the truth and see what the truth has to say about this; Now let try look on each one of these human part, a bit closely.





The Spirit.

This is the inner part of the human being; actually; the spirit is the real person of the human being. The spirit man is what actually makes up the person. For example, when someone says, my hand or my head, that person is trying to tell us, ‘I am not the hand, but the hand is mine’ or ‘I am not the head, but the head is mine’. The one who claims that the head is his/hers, that’s the real person of the human being; that’s the spirit man, talking within the body or from inside the body.



The Soul.

The soul is the part of man, is also known as the heart. The heart mentioned here is not that hard tissue of muscles pumping your blood around the body, from the left hand side of your chest, No! The heart or the soul here just refers to the centre of the human being. The soul is that part of man that enables him/her to relate; it is that part of a human, that enable a person to think, to feel and to decide. The soul is actually what makes a spirit being to become a person.



I will repeat myself; the soul is what actually makes you as a spirit man, become a person. This is to say, a spirit alone, is not a person. A person becomes a person, when his/her spirit being is installed with a soul; that part which enables the spirit to relate with feelings of emotions, with thoughts of the mind and with decisions from the will power, from within. With a form of simple mathematics, 

Spirit  +  Soul  =  A Person or Personality.



Therefore, The soul is not the you (as a spirit) exactly, but the soul is only what you have or what you posses, as a spirit being. The soul is what makes a person; The soul is your personality, that gives you (a spirit), the soul gives you Intellect, Emotion and Will;

·      Intellect/Mind     The ability to think,

·      Emotions              The ability to feel and

·      Will power           The ability to decide.    



The soul is not the you (spirit) exactly, but it’s what you have, as a spirit. That is why when people get broken hearted, you may hear one saying ‘Ooh! my heart is in pain’; meaning ‘he/she is not the heart, but the heart is his or hers; in other words, the heart is what belongs to him/her. So, the soul is not the you (spirit) exactly, but it’s what you have, as a spirit. Taking a example of King David who wrote the Psalms, the Bible says King avid was crying saying;



‘O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee ...’ (Psa 42:6). ‘Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.’  (Psa 42:11)





In the above scriptures, the Bible says, David (the spirit man) was not down, but his soul was so very down (at one time when he thought that, the Lord seemed to be far away from him). He cried to God and said, ‘O my God, my soul (and not I, but my soul) is cast down within me...’  And he went on crying by saying,  O my soul, Why are you casted down like that? and why are you disappointed within me that much? Keep trust and hope unto thy God’. From the above scriptures, King David is teaching us how to differentiate and distinguish between him (the spirit) and his soul (the heart). Therefore, the soul is not the you (spirit) exactly, but it is just what you have or what you own, as a spirit being.



King David is one of the faith heroes who teaches us how to differentiate between the spirit and the soul; the words he wrote in the Bible, show clearly the difference between him (the spirit) and his soul (the heart). As I said earlier, the spirit of man, is that inner part of the human being; actually; the spirit is the real person of the human being. For example, just like what King David showed that, his heart was down and not him; therefore when I say, my feet are tired or my head aches or this is my head or this is my hand, or, it’s that I’m trying to tell you that, ‘I am not the hand, but the hand is mine’ or ‘I am not the head, but the head is mine’.



Now, this is to say that, the one who claims that the head belongs to him/her, or the hand belongs to him/her now that’s the real person of the human being, talking to you; that’s the spirit man, talking within the body or from inside the body. The spirit is the inner part of the human being; the spirit is the real person of the human being, residing within the body, and he (without gender/sex) he is the one who claims that the head and the hand belongs to him. (Note: the spirit does not have sex/gender). The heart or the soul, is that part of man that enables him/her to relate; it is that part of a human, that enable a person to think, to feel and to decide.



The soul is what actually makes you as a spirit man, become a person. This is to say, a spirit alone, is not a person. A person becomes a person, when his/her spirit being is installed with a soul; that part which enables the spirit to relate with feelings of emotions, with thoughts of the mind and with decisions from the will power, from within.



The Body.

The body is that external visible and tangible part of the human, that contains the person, inside. The body is that external part of you, that envelopes you as the person, who lives within. Just like a letter, it has the envelope on the outside and the written paper on the inside of the envelope; it is just like a computer, it has the hardware externally and the software installed internally, within the computer (The Operating System and the Computer Programs). Likewise, the body. It is the external visible and tangible part of the human, that contains the person, inside. The body is that external part of you, that contains you as the person within it. The body is your house; it is where you actually live! You as a spirit being, you have a house; you house is that body of yours; you do live in that body.



See what the Truth (Bible) has to say about this; it’s a scripture where Apostle Peter was giving his last words before his death came near to take him, he said:



2Pe 1:12 (King James Version)

12Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of these things, though ye know them, and be established in the present truth. 13Yeah, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you in remembrance; 14Knowing that shortly I must put off this my tabernacle, even as our Lord Jesus Christ hath shewed me.











2Pe 1:12  (American Standard Version)

12Therefore I intend always to remind you of these qualities, though you know them and are established in the truth that you have. 13I think it right, as long as I am in this body, to stir you up by way of reminder, 14 since I know that the putting off of my body will be soon, as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me.



2Pe 1:12-14  (Good News Bible)

12And so I will always remind you of these matters, even though you already know them and are firmly grounded in the truth you have received. 13I think it only right for me to stir up your memory of these matters as long as I am still alive. 14I know that I shall soon put off this mortal body, as our Lord Jesus Christ plainly told me.



2 Peter 1:13-14  (Amplified Bible / Bible’s Amplifier)

13I think it right, to stir you up by way of remembrance, as long as I am in this tabernacle (tent, house, body), 14Since I know that the laying aside of this body (tent, house, body) of mine will come speedily, as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me.



As I said earlier, the spirit of man, is that inner part of the human being; actually; the spirit is the real person of the human being. That example was perfect; when someone says, my hand or my head, that person is trying to tell us, ‘I am not the hand, but the hand is mine’ or ‘I am not the head, but the head is mine’. The one who claims that the head is his/hers, that’s the real person of the human being; that’s the spirit man, talking within the body or from inside the body. The body is that external part of you, that contains you (spirit) within it. The body is your house; it is where you actually live! You as a spirit being, you have a house; you house is that body of yours; you do live in that body.







Who are you? Who are we? Who am I?

We as human beings, we are tri-beings; meaning, we are three in one; that’s to say, we are spirits, with souls and bodies. We as human beings, can be defined as follows;



Man is a spirit, with a soul, living within a body;   or

Man is a spirit, possessing a soul, and living in a body;   or

Man is a spirit, having a living soul, living within a body.



Function of the spirit

This is the inner part of the human being; actually; as I said earlier, the spirit is the real person of the human being. The spirit man is what actually makes up the person, within the body or from inside the body. The function of the spirit of man is

1.                   To relate with the spiritual world,

2.                   To receive information from the physical world

3.                   To lead into actions or respond due to the ignitions received.



The Function of the Soul

The heart or the soul, is that part of man that enables him/her to relate; it is that part of a human, that enable a person to think, to feel and to decide. The soul is what actually makes you as a spirit man, become a person. This is to say, a spirit alone, is not a person. A person becomes a person, when his/her spirit being is installed with a soul; that part which enables the spirit to



1.                   To relate with feelings of emotions,

2.                   To relate with thoughts of the mind and

3.                   To relate with decisions from the will power, from within.



Therefore, as I said before, the soul was created by God, for the purpose of providing a link (bridge) between the human spirit and his body. The soul is what enables you to feel others and to feel other things which are around you. It is where the Emotions, the Mind and the Will-power exist. These gives the human being the ability to feel, think and decide. That’s the function of the soul. Without the soul, you cannot enjoy, love, hate, accept, appreciate, respond, etc. It is that part of man that enables him/her to relate to the outside world and feel others around you.



The importance of the Mind/Intellectual Part of the Soul/Heart

Without the soul, you will not be able to think or analyze

Without the soul, you will not be able to reflect or prophlect

Without the soul, you will not be able to remember or meditate

Without the soul, you will not be able to comprehend or calculate



The importance of the Emotion Part of the Soul/Heart

Without the soul, you will not be able to laugh or cry

Without the soul, you will not be able to enjoy or hate

Without the soul, you will not be able to love or be loved.

Without the soul, you will not be able to feel recognized or accepted



In other words, without the soul, you cannot enjoy the music you listen, the songs you sings, the movies you watch, the food you eat, the cool wind you breeze, the water you swim in, the car you drive, the games you play, etc. It is that part of man that enables him/her to relate to the outside world.

The importance of the Will Part of the Soul

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose to rebel or obey

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose to go or to stay

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between left or right

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between this or that

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between there or here

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between now or later



Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose to do it or not doing it

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between him or her

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between Peter or David

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between Mary or Esther

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between saying or not saying

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between accepting or rejecting





Therefore, as I said before, the soul was created by God, for the purpose of providing a link (bridge) between the human spirit and his body. The soul is what enables you to feel others and to feel other things which are around you. It is where the Emotions, the Mind and the Will-power exist. These gives the human being the ability to feel, think and decide. That’s the function of the soul. Without the soul, you cannot enjoy, love, hate, accept, appreciate, respond, etc. It is that part of man that enables him/her to relate to the outside world and feel others around you.



Taking care of yourself wholly (holistically)

Therefore, since the Bible clearly shows us that, we as human beings, we are tri-beings; meaning, we are three in one; we are spirits, with souls and bodies; then we are to really take care of ourselves. Our ‘selves’ are very important part that enables us to relate to our world around us. This is to say, in order to relate to others properly, we need to possess a well natured heart and soul. Remember that, Friendship is a decision or agreement someone makes, to commitment his or her life to another, on the basis of hearts desires, choice and satisfaction, for the purpose of sharing your life the another person or other people or beings. Therefore; in order to relate to others in a better way, we need to develop and keep a well natured heart and soul.

SOMO LITAENDELEA........

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