CHAPTER THREE
GETTING TO KNOW YOURSELF
In the former
chapter, we’ve seen that, Friendship is a good relationship or/and close
relationship, between two or more people. We also defined that, Friendship is a
sharing of one’s life with another or other people/beings, in various aspects
of our everyday life; such as interests and hobbies, the pleasures and pains of
life, etc. Also, we said, Friendship is a relationship of one’s own choice, of
whom to be related to and how to be related to from the bases of appreciation
and satisfaction of one own heart’s desires. And lastly, we said, Friendship is
a agreement to a commitment of one’s life to the other, on the basis of hearts
desires, choice and satisfaction, for a particular purpose / direction.
We have
also seen that, friends are very important people in our lives; we really need
friends. We were not created to be self sufficient; therefore, we need each
other. First, we need friends for filling and expressing the human need of love
and care. Secondly, we need friends to fill the human need of social
interaction. Thirdly, we need friends in order to know and understand ourselves
and others. Fourthly, we need friends, for personality and character
development. Fifth, we need friends for help and support. Sixth, we need
friends for spiritual growth. And lastly, seventh, we learned that, we need
friends in order to find a good and suitable marriage partner. That was very
good.
But now,
in this good chapter, I want explain to you that, in order to for a person to have good relationships, he/she needs to
have a very good understanding of himself or herself; this is due to the fact
that, a good relationship depends so much on how a person relates to his own self
or her own self. Therefore,
in order to for a person to have good relationships, he/she needs to have a
very good understanding of himself or herself.
Quoting
the words of Christ the Lord Himself, from the book of Mathew, the Bible says;
Mat 22:36
36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law? 37Jesus
said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with
all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment. 39And
the second is like
unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour
as thyself.
It is not
common or usual to find Christians, talking much about loving ‘yourself’;
But to be honest, you cannot give what you don’t have! The Bible says “…
but such as I have, give I thee ...” (Acts 3:6).
This is just to show us, God expects you to invest in yourself before you are able to give yourself to
someone else. Remember that, Friendship is all about giving and sharing.
We defined
Friendships as; a decision or agreement someone makes, to commitment his or her
life to another, on the basis of hearts desires, choice and satisfaction, for a
particular purpose of sharing ones life with the other /others/ beings.
Therefore, you cannot give into a commitment (friendship) that which
you don’t have. From the above definition, Friendship is all about giving
and sharing your life in various aspects of life; such as
interests, hobbies, ambitions, desires, visions and dreams, plans and problems,
expectations and surprises, believes and faith, discouragements and
disappointments, pleasures and pains, etc;.
From the
definition of Friendship as the sharing of one’s life with
another or other people/beings, This is to say, someone can not
automatically be able to give into that relationship, which he/she does not
have. Therefore, with this concept, you need to really invest in your-self,
so that when the right time comes, and the right person is revealed to you, then
you may be able to give what
is expected of you. And also when the right time comes, you may be able to be what is expected of you to
be for
the person and to that person. Therefore, you really need to invest in your-self.
Now let’s start by ‘Getting to know your-self’
Getting to know ourselves.
Who are you?
It’s very important that every one
of us may get to know the real himself or herself and also know how you relate to yourself. The
Bible clearly shows us that, we as human beings, are tri-beings; meaning, we
are three
in one. Let me repeat what I said earlier, I said, In order to for a
person to have good relationships, he/she needs to have a very good
understanding of him or herself due to the fact that, a good relationship
depends so much on how a person relates to him or herself. And with that, I can
go on saying, you cannot perfectly relate to yourself, if you do not know
yourself.
Therefore, there is a need of
getting to know yourself; and the Bible clearly shows us that, we as human
beings, we are tri-beings; meaning, we are three in one; that’s to
say, you are a spirit, with a
soul and a body. Now let’s read from the truth
and see what the truth has to say about this;
And
the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit
and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus
Christ. (1Thessalonians 5:23)
Now let’s go way back to the beginning of
everything, when the Lord God made and formed everything; the Bible say from
the book of Genesis:
And
God said; Let us make man, in our
likeness ... And the LORD God formed man
(bodily) of the dust of the
ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath
of life (spirit); and man became a living soul. (Genesis
1:26, Genesis 2:7)
Therefore, the Bible clearly shows
us that, we as human beings, we are tri-beings; meaning, we are three
in one; that’s to say, we are spirits,
with souls and bodies. Now let’s read from the truth
and see what the truth has to say about this; Now let try look on each one of
these human part, a bit closely.
The Spirit.
This is the inner part of the human
being; actually; the spirit is the real person of the human being. The spirit
man is what actually makes up the person. For example, when someone says, my
hand or my head, that person is trying to tell us, ‘I am not the hand, but the hand is mine’ or ‘I am not the head, but the head is mine’. The one who claims that
the head is his/hers, that’s the real
person of the human being; that’s the spirit man, talking within the body or
from inside the body.
The Soul.
The soul is the part of man, is also
known as the heart. The heart mentioned here is not that hard tissue of muscles
pumping your blood around the body, from the left hand side of your chest, No!
The heart or the soul here just refers to the centre of the human being. The
soul is that part of man that enables him/her to relate; it is that part
of a human, that enable a person to think, to feel and to decide. The soul is
actually what makes a spirit being to become a person.
I will repeat myself; the soul is
what actually makes you as a spirit man, become a person. This is to say, a
spirit alone, is not a person. A person becomes a person, when his/her spirit
being is installed with a soul; that part which enables the spirit to relate
with feelings
of emotions, with thoughts of the mind and with
decisions
from the will power, from within. With a form of simple
mathematics,
Spirit + Soul = A Person or Personality.
Therefore, The soul is not the
you (as a spirit) exactly, but the soul is only what you have or what
you posses, as a spirit being. The soul is what makes a person; The soul is
your personality, that gives you (a spirit), the soul gives you Intellect,
Emotion and Will;
·
Intellect/Mind – The
ability to think,
·
Emotions – The ability to feel and
·
Will power – The ability
to decide.
The soul is not the you
(spirit) exactly, but it’s what you have, as a spirit. That is why when
people get broken hearted, you may hear one saying ‘Ooh! my heart is
in pain’; meaning ‘he/she is not the heart, but the heart
is his or hers; in other words, the heart is what belongs to him/her.
So, the soul is not the you (spirit) exactly, but it’s what you
have, as a spirit. Taking a example of King David who wrote the Psalms, the
Bible says King avid was crying saying;
‘O
my God, my soul is cast down
within me: therefore will I remember thee ...’ (Psa 42:6). ‘Why art thou cast
down, O my soul? and why art
thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance,
and my God.’ (Psa 42:11)
In the above scriptures, the Bible
says, David (the spirit man) was not down, but his soul was so very down (at
one time when he thought that, the Lord seemed to be far away from him). He
cried to God and said, ‘O
my God, my soul (and not I,
but my soul) is cast down within me...’
And he went on crying by saying,
‘O my soul, Why are you
casted down like that? and why are you disappointed within me that much? Keep
trust and hope unto thy God’. From the above scriptures, King David is teaching us how to differentiate and distinguish
between him (the spirit) and his soul (the heart). Therefore, the
soul
is not the you (spirit) exactly, but it is just what you have or what
you own, as a spirit
being.
King David is one of the faith
heroes who teaches us how to differentiate between the spirit and the soul; the
words he wrote in the Bible, show clearly the difference between him
(the
spirit) and his soul (the heart). As I said earlier, the spirit of man, is
that inner part of the human being; actually; the spirit is the real person of
the human being. For example, just like what King David showed that, his heart
was down and not him; therefore when I say, my
feet are tired or my head aches
or this is my head or this is my hand, or, it’s that I’m trying to
tell you that, ‘I am not the hand, but
the hand is mine’ or ‘I am not the
head, but the head is mine’.
Now, this is to say that, the one
who claims that the head belongs to
him/her, or the hand belongs to
him/her now that’s the real person of the human being, talking to you;
that’s the spirit man, talking within the body or from inside the body. The spirit
is the inner part of the human being; the spirit is the real person of
the human being, residing within the body, and he (without gender/sex) he is
the one who claims that the head and the hand belongs to him. (Note: the spirit
does not have sex/gender). The heart or the soul, is that part of man that
enables him/her to relate; it is that part of a human, that enable a
person to think, to feel and to decide.
The soul is what actually makes you
as a spirit man, become a person. This is to say, a spirit alone, is not a
person. A person becomes a person, when his/her spirit being is installed with
a soul; that part which enables the spirit to relate with feelings of emotions,
with thoughts
of the mind and with decisions from the will power,
from within.
The Body.
The body is that external visible and
tangible part of the human, that contains the person, inside. The body is that
external part of you, that envelopes you as the person, who lives within. Just
like a letter, it has the envelope on the outside and the written paper on the
inside of the envelope; it is just like a computer, it has the hardware
externally and the software installed internally, within the computer (The
Operating System and the Computer Programs). Likewise, the body. It is the
external visible and tangible part of the human, that contains the person,
inside. The body is that external part of you, that contains you as the person
within it. The body is your house; it is where you actually live! You as a
spirit being, you have a house; you house is that body of yours; you do live in
that body.
See what the Truth (Bible) has to say
about this; it’s a scripture where Apostle Peter was giving his last words
before his death came near to take him, he said:
2Pe 1:12 (King James
Version)
12Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you
always in remembrance of these things, though ye know them, and be established in the present
truth. 13Yeah, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you in remembrance; 14Knowing
that shortly I must put off this my tabernacle,
even as our Lord Jesus Christ hath shewed me.
2Pe
1:12 (American Standard Version)
12Therefore I intend always to remind you of
these qualities, though you know them and are established in the truth that you
have. 13I think it right, as long as I am in this body, to stir you up by way of reminder, 14 since I know that the putting off of my body will be soon,
as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me.
2Pe 1:12-14 (Good
News Bible)
12And so I will always remind you of these
matters, even though you already know them and are firmly grounded in the truth
you have received. 13I
think it only right for me to stir up your memory of these matters as long as I am still alive. 14I
know that I shall soon put off this
mortal body, as our Lord Jesus Christ plainly told me.
2 Peter
1:13-14 (Amplified Bible / Bible’s
Amplifier)
13I think it right, to stir you up by way of remembrance, as long as I am in this tabernacle
(tent, house, body), 14Since I know that the laying aside of this body (tent, house, body) of mine will
come speedily, as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me.
As I said earlier, the spirit of
man, is that inner part of the human being; actually; the spirit is the real
person of the human being. That example was perfect; when someone says, my hand
or my head, that person is trying to tell us, ‘I am not the hand, but the hand is mine’ or ‘I am not the head, but the head is mine’. The one who claims that
the head is his/hers, that’s the real
person of the human being; that’s the spirit man, talking within the body or
from inside the body. The body is that external part of you, that contains you
(spirit) within it. The body is your house; it is where you actually live! You
as a spirit being, you have a house; you house is that body of yours; you do
live in that body.
Who are you? Who are we?
Who am I?
We as human beings, we are tri-beings;
meaning, we are three in one; that’s to say, we are spirits, with souls and bodies. We as human beings, can be defined as follows;
Man is a spirit,
with a soul, living within a body; or
Man is a spirit,
possessing a soul, and living in a body; or
Man is a spirit,
having a living soul, living within a body.
Function of the spirit
This is the inner part of the human
being; actually; as I said earlier, the spirit is the real person of the human
being. The spirit man is what actually makes up the person, within the body or
from inside the body. The function of the spirit of man is
1.
To relate with the spiritual
world,
2.
To receive information from the
physical world
3.
To lead into actions or respond
due to the ignitions received.
The Function of the Soul
The heart or the soul, is that part
of man that enables him/her to relate; it is that part of a human, that
enable a person to think, to feel and to decide. The soul is what actually
makes you as a spirit man, become a person. This is to say, a spirit alone, is
not a person. A person becomes a person, when his/her spirit being is installed
with a soul; that part which enables the spirit to
1.
To relate with feelings
of emotions,
2.
To relate with thoughts
of the mind and
3.
To relate with decisions
from the will power, from within.
Therefore, as I said before, the
soul was created by God, for the purpose of providing a link (bridge) between
the human spirit and his body. The soul is what enables you to feel others and
to feel other things which are around you. It is where the Emotions, the Mind and
the Will-power exist. These gives the
human being the ability to feel, think and decide. That’s the function of the soul. Without the soul, you
cannot enjoy, love, hate, accept, appreciate, respond, etc. It is that part of
man that enables him/her to relate to the outside
world and feel others around you.
The importance of the
Mind/Intellectual Part of the Soul/Heart
Without the soul, you will not be
able to think or analyze
Without the soul, you will not be
able to reflect or prophlect
Without the soul, you will not be
able to remember or meditate
Without the soul, you will not be
able to comprehend or calculate
The importance of the Emotion
Part of the Soul/Heart
Without the soul, you will not be
able to laugh or cry
Without the soul, you will not be
able to enjoy or hate
Without the soul, you will not be
able to love or be loved.
Without the soul, you will not be able
to feel recognized or accepted
In other words, without the soul,
you cannot enjoy the music you listen, the songs you sings, the movies you
watch, the food you eat, the cool wind you breeze, the water you swim in, the
car you drive, the games you play, etc. It is that part of man that enables
him/her to relate to the outside world.
The importance of the Will
Part of the Soul
Without the soul, you will not be
able to decide or choose to rebel or obey
Without the soul, you will not be
able to decide or choose to go or to stay
Without the soul, you will not be
able to decide or choose between left or right
Without the soul, you will not be
able to decide or choose between this or that
Without the soul, you will not be
able to decide or choose between there or here
Without the soul, you will not be
able to decide or choose between now or later
Without the soul, you will not be
able to decide or choose to do it or not doing it
Without the soul, you will not be
able to decide or choose between him or her
Without the soul, you will not be
able to decide or choose between Peter or David
Without the soul, you will not be
able to decide or choose between Mary or Esther
Without the soul, you will not be
able to decide or choose between saying or not saying
Without the soul, you will not be
able to decide or choose between accepting or rejecting
Therefore, as I said before, the
soul was created by God, for the purpose of providing a link (bridge) between
the human spirit and his body. The soul is what enables you to feel others and
to feel other things which are around you. It is where the Emotions, the Mind and
the Will-power exist. These gives the
human being the ability to feel, think and decide. That’s the function of the soul. Without the soul, you
cannot enjoy, love, hate, accept, appreciate, respond, etc. It is that part of
man that enables him/her to relate to the outside
world and feel others around you.
Taking care of yourself
wholly (holistically)
Therefore, since the Bible clearly
shows us that, we as human beings, we are tri-beings; meaning, we are three
in one; we are spirits,
with souls and bodies; then we are to really
take care of ourselves. Our ‘selves’ are very important part that enables us to
relate to our world around us. This is to say, in order to relate to others
properly, we need to possess a well natured heart and soul. Remember that, Friendship
is a decision or agreement someone makes, to commitment his or her life to another,
on the basis of hearts desires, choice and satisfaction, for the purpose of
sharing your life the another person or other people or beings. Therefore;
in order to relate to others in a better way, we need to develop and keep a
well natured heart and soul.
SOMO LITAENDELEA........