TOPIC: FRIENDSHIP, LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP!!!............CHAPTER THREE!!

CHAPTER  THREE

GETTING TO KNOW YOURSELF

In the former chapter, we’ve seen that, Friendship is a good relationship or/and close relationship, between two or more people. We also defined that, Friendship is a sharing of one’s life with another or other people/beings, in various aspects of our everyday life; such as interests and hobbies, the pleasures and pains of life, etc. Also, we said, Friendship is a relationship of one’s own choice, of whom to be related to and how to be related to from the bases of appreciation and satisfaction of one own heart’s desires. And lastly, we said, Friendship is a agreement to a commitment of one’s life to the other, on the basis of hearts desires, choice and satisfaction, for a particular purpose / direction.

We have also seen that, friends are very important people in our lives; we really need friends. We were not created to be self sufficient; therefore, we need each other. First, we need friends for filling and expressing the human need of love and care. Secondly, we need friends to fill the human need of social interaction. Thirdly, we need friends in order to know and understand ourselves and others. Fourthly, we need friends, for personality and character development. Fifth, we need friends for help and support. Sixth, we need friends for spiritual growth. And lastly, seventh, we learned that, we need friends in order to find a good and suitable marriage partner. That was very good.

But now, in this good chapter, I want explain to you that, in order to for a person to have good relationships, he/she needs to have a very good understanding of himself or herself; this is due to the fact that, a good relationship depends so much on how a person relates to his own self or her own self. Therefore, in order to for a person to have good relationships, he/she needs to have a very good understanding of himself or herself.

Quoting the words of Christ the Lord Himself, from the book of Mathew, the Bible says;

Mat 22:36 

  ³⁶ Master, which is the great commandment in the law? ³⁷Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

³⁸ This is the first and great commandment. ³⁹And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

It is not common or usual to find Christians, talking much about loving ‘yourself’; But to be honest, you cannot give what you don’t have! The Bible says “… but such as I have, give I thee ...” (Acts 3:6). This is just to show us, God expects you to invest in yourself  before you are able to give yourself to someone else. Remember that, Friendship is all about giving and sharing.

We defined Friendships as; a decision or agreement someone makes, to commitment his or her life to another, on the basis of hearts desires, choice and satisfaction, for a particular purpose of sharing ones life with the other /others/ beings.  

Therefore, you cannot give into a commitment (friendship) that which you don’t have. From the above definition, Friendship is all about giving and sharing your life in various aspects of life; such as interests, hobbies, ambitions, desires, visions and dreams, plans and problems, expectations and surprises, believes and faith, discouragements and disappointments, pleasures and pains, etc;.

From the definition of Friendship as the sharing of one’s life with another or other people/beings, This is to say, someone can not automatically be able to give into that relationship, which he/she does not have. Therefore, with this concept, you need to really invest in your-self, so that when the right time comes, and the right person is revealed to you, then you may be able to give what is expected of you. And also when the right time comes, you may be able to be what is expected of you to be for the person and to that person. Therefore, you really need to invest in your-self. Now let’s start by ‘Getting to know your-self’

Getting to know ourselves. 

Who are you?

It’s very important that every one of us may get to know the real himself or herself and also know how you relate to yourself. The Bible clearly shows us that, we as human beings, are tri-beings; meaning, we are three in one. Let me repeat what I said earlier, I said, In order to for a person to have good relationships, he/she needs to have a very good understanding of him or herself due to the fact that, a good relationship depends so much on how a person relates to him or herself. And with that, I can go on saying, you cannot perfectly relate to yourself, if you do not know yourself.

Therefore, there is a need of getting to know yourself; and the Bible clearly shows us that, we as human beings, we are tri-beings; meaning, we are three in one; that’s to say, you are a spirit, with a soul and a body. Now let’s read from the truth and see what the truth has to say about this;

And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  (1Thessalonians 5:23) 

Now let’s go way back to the beginning of everything, when the Lord God made and formed everything; the Bible say from the book of Genesis:

And God said; Let us make man, in our likeness ... And the LORD God formed man (bodily) of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life (spirit); and man became a living soul. (Genesis 1:26, Genesis  2:7)

Therefore, the Bible clearly shows us that, we as human beings, we are tri-beings; meaning, we are three in one; that’s to say, we are spirits, with souls and bodies. Now let’s read from the truth and see what the truth has to say about this; Now let try look on each one of these human part, a bit closely.

The Spirit.

This is the inner part of the human being; actually; the spirit is the real person of the human being. The spirit man is what actually makes up the person. For example, when someone says, my hand or my head, that person is trying to tell us, ‘I am not the hand, but the hand is mine’ or ‘I am not the head, but the head is mine’. The one who claims that the head is his/hers, that’s the real person of the human being; that’s the spirit man, talking within the body or from inside the body.

The Soul.

The soul is the part of man, is also known as the heart. The heart mentioned here is not that hard tissue of muscles pumping your blood around the body, from the left hand side of your chest, No! The heart or the soul here just refers to the centre of the human being. The soul is that part of man that enables him/her to relate; it is that part of a human, that enable a person to think, to feel and to decide. The soul is actually what makes a spirit being to become a person.

I will repeat myself; the soul is what actually makes you as a spirit man, become a person. This is to say, a spirit alone, is not a person. A person becomes a person, when his/her spirit being is installed with a soul; that part which enables the spirit to relate with feelings of emotions, with thoughts of the mind and with decisions from the will power, from within. With a form of simple mathematics, 

Spirit  +  Soul  =  A Person or Personality.

Therefore, The soul is not the you (as a spirit) exactly, but the soul is only what you have or what you posses, as a spirit being. The soul is what makes a person; The soul is your personality, that gives you (a spirit), the soul gives you Intellect, Emotion and Will;

·      Intellect/Mind  –   The ability to think,

·      Emotions           –   The ability to feel and

·      Will power        –   The ability to decide.    

The soul is not the you (spirit) exactly, but it’s what you have, as a spirit. That is why when people get broken hearted, you may hear one saying ‘Ooh! my heart is in pain’; meaning ‘he/she is not the heart, but the heart is his or hers; in other words, the heart is what belongs to him/her. So, the soul is not the you (spirit) exactly, but it’s what you have, as a spirit. Taking a example of King David who wrote the Psalms, the Bible says King avid was crying saying;

‘O my God, my soul is cast down within me: therefore will I remember thee ...’ (Psa 42:6). ‘Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.’  (Psa 42:11)

In the above scriptures, the Bible says, David (the spirit man) was not down, but his soul was so very down (at one time when he thought that, the Lord seemed to be far away from him). He cried to God and said, ‘O my God, my soul (and not I, but my soul) is cast down within me...’  And he went on crying by saying,  ‘O my soul, Why are you casted down like that? and why are you disappointed within me that much? Keep trust and hope unto thy God’. From the above scriptures, King David is teaching us how to differentiate and distinguish between him (the spirit) and his soul (the heart). Therefore, the soul is not the you (spirit) exactly, but it is just what you have or what you own, as a spirit being.

King David is one of the faith heroes who teaches us how to differentiate between the spirit and the soul; the words he wrote in the Bible, show clearly the difference between him (the spirit) and his soul (the heart). As I said earlier, the spirit of man, is that inner part of the human being; actually; the spirit is the real person of the human being. For example, just like what King David showed that, his heart was down and not him; therefore when I say, my feet are tired or my head aches or this is my head or this is my hand, or, it’s that I’m trying to tell you that, ‘I am not the hand, but the hand is mine’ or ‘I am not the head, but the head is mine’.

Now, this is to say that, the one who claims that the head belongs to him/her, or the hand belongs to him/her now that’s the real person of the human being, talking to you; that’s the spirit man, talking within the body or from inside the body. The spirit is the inner part of the human being; the spirit is the real person of the human being, residing within the body, and he (without gender/sex) he is the one who claims that the head and the hand belongs to him. (Note: the spirit does not have sex/gender). The heart or the soul, is that part of man that enables him/her to relate; it is that part of a human, that enable a person to think, to feel and to decide.

The soul is what actually makes you as a spirit man, become a person. This is to say, a spirit alone, is not a person. A person becomes a person, when his/her spirit being is installed with a soul; that part which enables the spirit to relate with feelings of emotions, with thoughts of the mind and with decisions from the will power, from within.

The Body.

The body is that external visible and tangible part of the human, that contains the person, inside. The body is that external part of you, that envelopes you as the person, who lives within. Just like a letter, it has the envelope on the outside and the written paper on the inside of the envelope; it is just like a computer, it has the hardware externally and the software installed internally, within the computer (The Operating System and the Computer Programs). Likewise, the body. It is the external visible and tangible part of the human, that contains the person, inside. The body is that external part of you, that contains you as the person within it. The body is your house; it is where you actually live! You as a spirit being, you have a house; you house is that body of yours; you do live in that body.

See what the Truth (Bible) has to say about this; it’s a scripture where Apostle Peter was giving his last words before his death came near to take him, he said:

2Pe 1:12 (King James Version)

¹²Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of these things, though ye know them, and be established in the present truth. ¹³Yeah, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you in remembrance; ¹⁴Knowing that shortly I must put off this my tabernacle, even as our Lord Jesus Christ hath shewed me.

2Pe 1:12  (American Standard Version)

¹²Therefore I intend always to remind you of these qualities, though you know them and are established in the truth that you have. ¹³I think it right, as long as I am in this body, to stir you up by way of reminder, ¹⁴ since I know that the putting off of my body will be soon, as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me.

2Pe 1:12-14  (Good News Bible)

¹²And so I will always remind you of these matters, even though you already know them and are firmly grounded in the truth you have received. ¹³I think it only right for me to stir up your memory of these matters as long as I am still alive. ¹⁴I know that I shall soon put off this mortal body, as our Lord Jesus Christ plainly told me.

2 Peter 1:13-14  (Amplified Bible / Bible’s Amplifier)

¹³I think it right, to stir you up by way of remembrance, as long as I am in this tabernacle (tent, house, body), ¹⁴Since I know that the laying aside of this body (tent, house, body) of mine will come speedily, as our Lord Jesus Christ made clear to me.

As I said earlier, the spirit of man, is that inner part of the human being; actually; the spirit is the real person of the human being. That example was perfect; when someone says, my hand or my head, that person is trying to tell us, ‘I am not the hand, but the hand is mine’ or ‘I am not the head, but the head is mine’. The one who claims that the head is his/hers, that’s the real person of the human being; that’s the spirit man, talking within the body or from inside the body. The body is that external part of you, that contains you (spirit) within it. The body is your house; it is where you actually live! You as a spirit being, you have a house; you house is that body of yours; you do live in that body.

Who are you? Who are we? Who am I?

We as human beings, we are tri-beings; meaning, we are three in one; that’s to say, we are spirits, with souls and bodies. We as human beings, can be defined as follows;

Man is a spirit, with a soul, living within a body;   or

Man is a spirit, possessing a soul, and living in a body;   or

Man is a spirit, having a living soul, living within a body.

Function of the spirit

This is the inner part of the human being; actually; as I said earlier, the spirit is the real person of the human being. The spirit man is what actually makes up the person, within the body or from inside the body. The function of the spirit of man is

1.                   To relate with the spiritual world,

2.                   To receive information from the physical world

3.                   To lead into actions or respond due to the ignitions received.

The Function of the Soul

The heart or the soul, is that part of man that enables him/her to relate; it is that part of a human, that enable a person to think, to feel and to decide. The soul is what actually makes you as a spirit man, become a person. This is to say, a spirit alone, is not a person. A person becomes a person, when his/her spirit being is installed with a soul; that part which enables the spirit to

1.                   To relate with feelings of emotions,

2.                   To relate with thoughts of the mind and

3.                   To relate with decisions from the will power, from within.

Therefore, as I said before, the soul was created by God, for the purpose of providing a link (bridge) between the human spirit and his body. The soul is what enables you to feel others and to feel other things which are around you. It is where the Emotions, the Mind and the Will-power exist. These gives the human being the ability to feel, think and decide. That’s the function of the soul. Without the soul, you cannot enjoy, love, hate, accept, appreciate, respond, etc. It is that part of man that enables him/her to relate to the outside world and feel others around you.

The importance of the Mind/Intellectual Part of the Soul/Heart

Without the soul, you will not be able to think or analyze

Without the soul, you will not be able to reflect or prophlect

Without the soul, you will not be able to remember or meditate

Without the soul, you will not be able to comprehend or calculate

The importance of the Emotion Part of the Soul/Heart

Without the soul, you will not be able to laugh or cry

Without the soul, you will not be able to enjoy or hate

Without the soul, you will not be able to love or be loved.

Without the soul, you will not be able to feel recognized or accepted

In other words, without the soul, you cannot enjoy the music you listen, the songs you sings, the movies you watch, the food you eat, the cool wind you breeze, the water you swim in, the car you drive, the games you play, etc. It is that part of man that enables him/her to relate to the outside world.

The importance of the Will Part of the Soul

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose to rebel or obey

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose to go or to stay

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between left or right

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between this or that

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between there or here

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between now or later

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose to do it or not doing it

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between him or her

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between Peter or David

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between Mary or Esther

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between saying or not saying

Without the soul, you will not be able to decide or choose between accepting or rejecting

Therefore, as I said before, the soul was created by God, for the purpose of providing a link (bridge) between the human spirit and his body. The soul is what enables you to feel others and to feel other things which are around you. It is where the Emotions, the Mind and the Will-power exist. These gives the human being the ability to feel, think and decide. That’s the function of the soul. Without the soul, you cannot enjoy, love, hate, accept, appreciate, respond, etc. It is that part of man that enables him/her to relate to the outside world and feel others around you.

Taking care of yourself wholly (holistically)

Therefore, since the Bible clearly shows us that, we as human beings, we are tri-beings; meaning, we are three in one; we are spirits, with souls and bodies; then we are to really take care of ourselves. Our ‘selves’ are very important part that enables us to relate to our world around us. This is to say, in order to relate to others properly, we need to possess a well natured heart and soul. Remember that, Friendship is a decision or agreement someone makes, to commitment his or her life to another, on the basis of hearts desires, choice and satisfaction, for the purpose of sharing your life the another person or other people or beings. Therefore; in order to relate to others in a better way, we need to develop and keep a well natured heart and soul.

SOMO LITAENDELEA........

TOPIC: FRIENDSHIP,LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP!!!....CHAPTER TWO!!

CHAPTER  TWO

WHY DO WE NEED FRIENDS?

1.    TO FILL AND EXPRESS THE HUMAN NEED OF LOVE AND CARE.

We as human beings, all have this sense and ambition of wanting to be loved and to show or send or express love others people or beings. This ambition or desire or need is a natural and God given desire, to receive and give love, care, recognition, attention, appreciation and sympathy.  We are also created with the ambition of giving love to others. This need and ambition is the ability of the human soul, within us (every one of us) as part of our being.

Psychologists tell us that, infants (babies) can either grow weak and unbalanced physically and mentally, if they won’t receive enough love. Babies as human beings, even if they get good nutrition, still need love, care, attention, appreciation, touch, sweet words, etc. Not food alone, because man is not just a body. Man is a spiritual being with a soul, living in a body.

During the second world war, in  German, it was reported that, in a certain hospital some infants (babies) died and others grew so weak, just because their  mothers died in the war, and the hospital had no enough nurses to take care, of them as mothers do, though they had proper nutrition, medication and room temperature.  But one certain baby, who was always in the hands of one nurse, receiving love, sweet words, warm soft touches, he grew very beautifully strong and healthy.

We all have this space/hole in our hearts, of wanting to be filled with love, care and attention from someone. It’s Godly and it’s natural. And that’s why God has given us friends, so that through good friendship, the people we relate to can provide all that which feeds our souls and make us mentally and physically well. We need friends to fill and express the human need of Love and care. 

2.     TO FILL THE HUMAN NEED OF SOCIAL INTERACTION.

We are not just physical and spiritual beings, but we are also, social beings.  As we grow up, we develop the need and desire interaction, association and cooperation with other beings.  Not just human beings, but all good and attractive beings like animals such as pets and plants like flowers. Everyone has the need and desire to get together with other, to have people to talk to, listen to, share life with, relax with, and people to have fun with, to enjoy life and have recreation.  We all need people to talk with, to walk with, to work with, to worship with, to live with. 

Imagine a life, from morning to morning, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, for several months, or years, who does not interact with anybody, who does not talk to anyone, even a tree or a bird, imagine! I believe this guy won’t be normal mentally even physically! I think, if you won’t get people to talk with, and share life, I think… you may stiffen like a piece of dry wood! (Joke). Psychologists tell us that, such people will not grow up with a well balanced mental and emotional life.  Their psychological ability will obviously have defects.  Their characters and attitudes will surely be strange. We are not to eat, work, study and worship only, we have to balance life with recreation, enjoyment, relation, having fun, with people we like/love.  That’s why we need friends.

3.     TO KNOW AND UNDERSTAND OURSELVES AND OTHERS.

Friendship and togetherness gives us the opportunity to know others people and their characters, behaviors and attitudes.  That knowledge helps us to choose friends to relate to more closely. Friendship gives us the chance to know ourselves.  You can’t identify the value something, if you can’t compare. To compare one needs other things of the same type or people (to be specific).  There are things, attitudes and desires in us, which we can’t identify them (know them) without the pull from the people we meet/interact with.

Interaction has the ability to pull some things from within us. As you share your life with other people, as you meet people of different kind, you will start to realize that “wow I like this”  or “I don’t like that”. Soon or later you will start to discover that “I don’t like this habit” or “I like this style” etc. Such will only be possible if you interact with people in the friendship game (way of life). Some likes and dislikes weakness and strength, desires and hates, which are in us, will never emerge out of us and be known, if we don’t interact. If you consider yourself an educated person, you may not know the strength or the weakness of what you know until you meet other learned fellows. If you count yourself as a great singer, musician, painter, etc you will not actually know the truth till you meet other fellow artists.

If you are a boy/male, you may not perfectly know the level of your strength or weakness till you hang alone with other boys/men. It’s the same with girls. Another aspect of life which has a great ability to pull the real personality of someone is the encounter with the opposite sex.  We are sexual beings. And sexuality has the power to identify and distinguish personalities, characters, behaviors, attitudes and conducts. The point still is, friendship has the power to make us know ourselves, the real us. So, friends help us to know ourselves and to know each other.

        

4.       FOR PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

When you know yourself and get challenged with a certain personality, character, ability or achievement of a friend, it is easy to set the desire for change and develop a better personality, characters, ability or achievement. When you find out an unattractive or an unpleasing habit or attitude, level or achievement, you are able to make up your mind not to end-up in such a place/level. So, you can see how friendship has help develop ones personality.

But also, when friends discover a bad behavior or unsatisfying thing in you, they can help you change and become a better person. Good friends challenge our lives and our lifestyles. Good friends help us to live a clean life, I mean not just in attitude wise or intellectually, but also physically in areas such as health wise, tidiness, in body, clothing, surrounding, etc.  Friends help us change character, attitudes, and develop better personality.  That why we need friends.

 5.       FOR HELP AND SUPPORT     *Eccl 4:9-10

Life is full of pleasure and pain as well. We don’t like bad things, but we face these things in the everyday now and the life. Everyday we fight and resist unwanted things in life such as poverty, lack, hurting, failure, brokenness, hardship, pain, sickness, accidents, death, etc.  Jesus said in John 16:33 that In the world you shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer (in heart), (for) I have overcome the world. These things I have spoken that you may have peace (paraphrased). Also it’s written in Psalms 34:19 and 17 that; Many are the afflictions (troubles) of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. For they cry out and the Lord hears and delivers them out of their troubles. (paraphrased).

During hard times, discouragement, frustration, fear, worries, lack, failures, pain, tears, funerals, broken hearts, etc, friends are one of the best support and hope we may such hard times. Good friends may sometimes be used by God as the best medication to our lives when passing through ‘the valleys’ of life.  Imagine yourself going through a funeral or frustration or pain and discouragement without someone you love, to hold your hand and give you shoulder to cry on.  We need friends. * Read John 11: 1-7, 17-23 and see how Jesus was a good friend to Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha.

But also, during good times and high times of joy and celebration, friends are the best decorations.  Imagine having your birthday, your graduation or your marriage, without a single friend to be with you! I‘m telling you, you may find yourself going out to pick any body around, to give you company. Read it in Luke 14:15-24.  Friends decorate our good times and make us feel valuable, feel special, feel good and feel high even if you might be poor. That’s why we need friends and that’s why we have friends. Friends are for help and for support.

6.         FOR SPIRITUAL GROWTH

Friends are there to help us grow spiritually and know God more closely.  The bible says we can not be effective in sharing life and faith, if we do not grow spiritually in knowing God more.
It’s written in Philemon 1:6 that the communication of our faith, may become effectual, by getting to know (acknowledging) of every good thing which is in us in Christ Jesus.

To inherit God’s blessings in life requires spiritual growth (Gal 3:13-14, 29; Gal 4:1) and to overcome the world, sin and the devil requires spiritual maturity. And spiritual growth requires a disciplined life of bible studying, prayer, worship, and fellowship with other believers, etc. (Gal 5:16-23; Efe 4:11-14; Efe 6:12-13, 10-11).

We need friends to study Gods word with, to pray with, to worship with to serve god with, etc.  Friends are people to help us not to do some things which don’t please god and people.  (Even with rebukes).  Friends are there to help us do what we are supposed to do. To do good things. The bible says in 1Cor 15:33 that Do not be deceived, evil (bad) company corrupts good behavior (paraphrased). That is why the bible says that we should hold company with those who live with good (pure) hearts conducts. It says; flee from youthful lusts; and follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that love the Lord with a pure heart (2Tim 2:22). 

Friends, who draw us away from godly spiritual values, are never good friends.  If your friends are not helping you spiritually, then he/she is destroying your relationship with God, Even if he/she is not telling you to do bad things, but the state of leaving your situation, is a process of destroying you.  We are to make friends who help us to grow in the grace of Salvation and in knowing God more, through Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour (2 Pet 3:18)

7.         TO FIND A MARRIAGE PARTNER  *Gen 2:8, 18

People get their life partners in many ways.  Some get visions and dreams.  So get Prophecies and some here God’s voice clearly.  But these are very special ways for someone to receive direction on who to marry.  Not every one of us will here God’s voice in this way saying like the way Joseph did as he heard from God “Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife” (Math 1:20)

In normal/general situations, people find their marriage partners, among their friends and among the people they meet. A wife or husband is supposed to be your best friend and partner in every aspect of life. Infact, perfect marriage partners are the ones who came united out of a close friendship. Best friends who know each other closely, have a big chance of  having the best marriage couple. I can say that, most marriage problems emerge from not being fully acquainted with your partner’s attitude and characters.

Many young men and women, boys and girls, get confused and frustrated, when it comes to the issue of deciding who to marry, though they have been taught and they have prayed a lot.  The knowledge about the person helps much in making decision and taking direction.  Friendship helps us to know good people and get good life partners. So, friendship helps us interact with people, get to know people, develop interest on certain people and eventually start marriage procedures.

Therefore, make more friends, godly friends, and it may be easier and of less confusion when the time comes for you to make the second most important decision: “who do you want to spend the rest of your life on earth with?”  It is the second most important decision, a person can make after deciding”  “where are you going to spend the rest of your life after earth/death” New Jehanum or New Jerusalem?  This is the first most important decision one is to make.  Then comes the decision about marriage.

UNAWEZA KUTOA MAONI YAKO LAKINI NI LAZIMA UWE MWANACHAMA KWANZA WA BLOG HII NA NDIO UTAWEZA KUCHANGIA...KARIBU UJIUNGE...Be follower!!!


SOMO HILI LITAENDELEA!!!

TOPIC: FRIENDSHIP,LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP!!....CHAPTER ONE!!

CHAPTER ONE

WHAT IS FRIENDSHIP?

Friendship is a common word, its known and its used every day, by everybody, though in different ways. Friendship is a word we use everyday in showing and expressing relationships between us or between people. Friendship can be defined in so many various ways: and here are some common definitions for what friendship means:-

Someone can say;

• Friendship is a good relationship or/and close relationship, between two or more people.
• Friendship is a sharing of one’s life with another or other people/beings, in various aspects of our everyday life; such as interests and hobbies, the pleasures and pains of life, etc.
• Friendship is a relationship of one’s own choice, of whom to be related to and how to be related to from the bases of appreciation and satisfaction of one own heart’s desires.
• Friendship is a agreement to a commitment of one’s life to the other, on the basis of hearts desires, choice and satisfaction, for a particular purpose / direction.

Kwa Mfano; Urafiki wa Jonathan na Daudi. (1Samweli 18:1-4)

Tunaona Jonathan anampenda sana Daudi baada ya kugundua vipawa vilivyo ndani ya Daudi. Tunasoma kwamba Daudi alikuwa anajua sana kupiga muziki (zeze) na kuimba zaburi kwa Mungu, kitu kilichofanya Daudi awe karibu sana na Mungu na kufunikwa na utukufu wa Mungu (upako). Hivyo Jonathan alimpenda sana Daudi kwasababu Daudi ana upako, uliomsaidia babake (mfalme) Sauli kufunguka kutoka katika nguvu za giza mara kwa mara.

Hivyo Daudi akawa mtu wa msaada sana kwa familia ya Mfalme na katika serikali yake. Pasipo Daudi kuwepo karibu, mambo yote ya ofisi ya Mfalme na nyumba yake yanaharibika. Hicho kilimfanya Jonathan kumpenda sana sana Daudi. Na Daudi naye akampenda sana Jonathan kwasababu Jonathan alimpenda yeye kwanza, na pia kwasababu Jonathan alikuwa mtoto wa mkuu wan nchi, mtoto wa Mfalme. Kukajengeka upendo mkubwa sana wa kirafiki kati ya Daudi na Jonathan.

Urafiki wa jinsia tofauti.

Let me also not forget to say that, casual friendship is not necessarily a friendship of the same gender or same sex only.  No! A casual friend can be of the opposite sex too. Jesus has Lazarus, Mary and Martha as his friends! It’s fine and OK to have casual friends of the opposite sex.  In fact, it is psychologically, socially and spiritually healthy to have friends of the opposite sex, if you are perfectly and correctly taught the word of God and you understand the will of God and the plan of God concerning friendship. I will talk about this more at the end of this topic, because I know it is not very common idea to the African culture and the doctrines of some of our churches. So, hold your breath!

Kwa Mfano; Urafiki wa Yesu na Martha, Mariam na Lazaro. (Yohana 11:5, 35-36)

Japo biblia haielezi wazi wazi sababu za urafiki wao, lakini maandiko yanaonyesha wazi kuwa, uhusiano wa Yesu na kina Lazaro, Martha na Mariam, ulikuwa wa karibu sana ingawa hawakuwa ndugu zake wala wanatimu wake, bali marafiki zake. Angalia inavyoelezwa katika msatri wa 5; Neno la Mungu linasema, ⁵Naye Yesu alimpenda Martha na umbu lake (yaani dada yake, ambaye ni Mariam) na Lazaro (ambaye ni kaka yao).

Hebu jiulize, kwanini Roho Mtakatifu alimwongoza Yohana kutanguliza kumuandika Martha kwanza, kabla ya Lazaro au Mariam? Hii ni wazi kwamba, Yesu alikuwa na uhusiano wa kirafiki, tena wa karibu sana na hii familia, na hasa Martha (nionavyo mimi, kulingana na maandiko). Tuangalie zaidi mazingira haya kama ilivyoandikwa.

Yohana 11:20;

Martha aliposikia kwamba hatimaye Yesu amefika msibani japo kwa kuchelewa, alikwenda kumlaki (kumpokea) lakini Mariam hakutoka, alibaki ndani. Unadhani kwanini? Baada ya kuongea na Yesu kwa muda Fulani, ndipo tunamona Mariam akiamua kwenda kmwuita na Mariam, atoke ndani kwenda kumsalimia Yesu (mstari wa 28-32) Hii inaonyesha ukaribu uliokuwepo kati ya Yesu na Martha. Walikuwa na upendo mkubwa sana wa kirafiki, Phileo.

Kwa wale wasomaji wa Biblia, mnakumbuka hata wakati Yesu alipotembelea familia yao siku moja, ni Martha aliyeonyesha kumjali Yesu sana hata kujituma jikoni ili kumuandalia chakula, wakati Mariam hakuwa hata na pressure, bali alijiketisha miguuni pa Yesu kusikiliza Neno la Mungu. Japo badaye Martha alishushuliwa na Yesu, lakini ndiye aliyeonyesha kumjali (kum-care) Yesu zaidi, ndiye aliyeonyesha kusumbuka kwa ajili ya Yesu zaidi kuliko Mariam. Soma hii katika kitabu cha Luka 10:38-42.

Mimi naamini urafiki wa Martha kwa Yesu alijengeka katika mazingira ya Martha kuthamini wema na baraka alizotendewa na Yesu, kwasababu utakumbuka kwamba, Martha ndiye yule mwanamke kahaba, ambaye siku moja alisikia injili katika mkutano ambao Yesu alikuwa anahubiri na akatubu dhambi zake, akatua mzigo wake na Yesu akamsamehewa kabisa uovu wake wote. Kwa furaha aliyokuwa nayo, akaenda nyumbani kwake, akachukua chupa ya perfume (marhamu) safi tena ya bei kubwa, akaja mahali ambapo Yesu alialikwa chakulani nyumbani kwa Farisayo aitwaye Simon.

Kwa utaratibu wa kiyahudi, ni mwiko kabisa mwanamke kuingia katika kikao cha wanaume wala kumgusa mwanaume bila utaratibu. Lakini kwa jinsi alivyokuwa na msukumo mkubwa moyoni, alishindwa kujizuia, akapenya mpaka mahali walipokuwa wamekaa chakulani, akasimama nyuma ya Yesu, akadondosha machozi katika miguu ya Yesu (kwasababu wayahudi hukaa chini kwenye zulia, na hii ina maana kwamba, Yesu alikuwa amekunja miguu kwa nyuma, ndio maana machozi yakamwangukia miguuni). 

Biblia inasema, ndipo alipoinama na kuvunja ile ya marhamu safi, nyumba yote ikajaa harufu nzuri. Martha akaipaka miguu ya Yesu mafuta yale mazuri, akachukua nywele zake ndefu na kuipangusa vizuuuri miguu ya Yesu. Mwisho akamalizia kwa kuibusu sana miguu ya Yesu mpaka mafarisayo wakakwazika na kunung’unika; lakini Yesu akamtetea Martha na kusema ‘mwacheni! Huyu amesamehewa dhambi nyingi kuliko ninyi, ndio maana amenipenda zaidi sana kuliko ninyi wote. Kwa habari kamili, soma Luka 7:36-50.

Pengine kwa sababu ya unyenyekevu wa Martha, ndipo upendo wa kirafiki (phileo) ulipozaliwa kati ya Yesu na Martha. Tunasoma hatimaye siku nyingine, Martha akamualika Yesu chakulani nyumbani kwao (Luka 10:38-42). Kitendo hicho kilimtabulisha Yesu kwa familia ya Lazaro. Biblia inasema Yesu akawapenda sana Martha, Mariam na Lazaro kirafiki - phileo (Yoh 11:1-5). Baada ya hapo, ndipo Lazaro alipougua sana hata Martha akatuma watu kwa Yesu kumwomba aje kumponya kaka yao ambaye pia ni rafiki sana wa Yesu. Mpaka Lazaro anakufa, Yesu alikuwa hajatokea.

Siku Yesu anafika, walikuwa wameshamzika Lazaro siku nne zilizopita, tayari ananuka, ameharibika. Habari ziliposikika kwamba Yesu amefika msibani, ni Martha peke yake aliyetoka kwenda kumlaki Yesu. Baada ya muda Martha kuongea na Yesu kwa muda, ndipo akrudi ndani kwenda kumwita Mariam atoke kwenda kumsalimia Yesu kule nje.

Mariam akatoka, naye alipomwona Yesu, alilia kwa uchungu sana na kujibwaga miguu pa yesu na kulalama ‘Yesu kama ungeuja mapema, kaka yetu asingekufa, ungemponya’. Yesu alipomwona Mariam analia, na wayahudi waliofuatana naye wanalia, Yesu akaugua sana moyoni, akafadhaika, na mstari wa 35 unasema “Yesu akalia machozi”. Hata wayahudi walipomuona Yesu analia, waksema, “angalia jinsi alivyompenda (Lazaro)”. Hii inaonyesha kwamba, kulikuwa na upendo mkubwa sana wa kirafiki kati ya Yesu na Lazaro na dada zake. Baada ya hayo, tunasoma Yesu akaenda kumfufua rafiki yake Lazaro kutoka mautini.

Ndipo katika sura inayofuata (Yoh 12:1-8) baada ya wakati fulani kupita tangu Yesu amfufue Lazaro, tunaona familia ya Lazaro wanamwandalia Yesu karamu (sherehe au party), pengine ilikuwa ni ibada ya shukurani ya kufufuka kwa Lazaro. Siku hiyo, Martha akaanda chakula kizuri, halafu wote wakiwa wameketi chakulani, Martha akarudia tena kumvunjia Yesu kibweta cha marashi safi na nyumba yote ikajaa harufu nzuri sana ya manukato. Martha akamvunjia Yesu kibweta kingine cha marashi (perfume) safi ya bei kubwa; akampaka tena Yesu marhamu safi kwa nywele zake. Ilikuwa ni ratili ya mafuta safi ya marhamu yenye thamani nyingi. Safari hii Yuda ndiye aliyekwazika (soma mwenyewe utajua sababu). Lakini tunamwona Yesu akimtetea tena Martha na kusema ‘mwacheni, kwa kitendo hiki, ananiandaa kwa maziko yangu’.

Tukio hili la alilolifanya Martha, na ujasiri aliokuwa nao wa kuingia katika kikao cha wananume, kinyume cha utamaduni na kuishinda hofu yake, liliupendeza sana moyo wa Bwana Yesu, kwani, aliona upendo wa kweli na urafiki wa kweli kutoka kwa Martha. Martha alikuwa rafiki wa kweli wa Bwana Yesu. Yaani hawa wawili, walikuwa real good and serious friends. Yesu alivyokuwa na urafiki wa Karibu sana na Martha. Martha alimpenda sana Yesu kwa wema usioelezeka, ambao Yesu alimtendea yeye na familia yake. Upendo uliokuwa katika yao ni upendo phileo, Upendo wa kirafiki, upendo wenye sababu. Nitakufundisha hii baadaye kwa kina na upana wake. Kwahiyo, tulia tu, endelea kusoma.

Kwahiyo, tumeona kwamba, Friendship is a word we use every day in showing and expressing good and close relationships between us or between people. Tumesema kwamba,

• Friendship is a good relationship or/and close relationship, between two or more people.
• Friendship is a sharing of one’s life with another or other people/beings, in various aspects of our everyday life; such as interests and hobbies, the pleasures and pains of life, etc.

Pia tumeona kwamba;

• Friendship is a relationship of one’s own choice, of whom to be related to and how to be related to from the bases of appreciation and satisfaction of one own heart’s desires.
• Friendship is a agreement to a commitment of one’s life to the other, on the basis of hearts desires, choice and satisfaction, for a particular purpose / direction.

Pia tumeona kwamba, kuna aina mbali mbali za urafiki. Tumeona urafiki wa jinsia moja, kwa mfano, urafiki wa Jonathan na Daudi. Lakini pia tumeangalia urafiki wa jinsia tofauti, kwa mfano wa urafiki wa Yesu na Martha. Na kuna aina nyingine nyingi tu za urafiki au marafiki. Huko mbele, nitakufundisha vizuri na kwa kina; utaona kwamba, kuna marafiki hata wa umri tofauti. Ngoja nisikuonjeshe utamu kabla ya saa ya kula. Lakini huko mbeleni, kuna kipengele kinaitwa, aina za marafiki. Na hapo tutachimba zaidi na kuangalia kwa upana, aina za urafiki uliopo.

 UNAWEZA KUTOA MAONI YAKO LAKINI NI LAZIMA UWE MWANACHAMA KWANZA WA BLOG HII NA NDIO UTAWEZA KUCHANGIA...KARIBU UJIUNGE...Be follower!!!

SOMO HILI LITAENDELEA WIKI IJAYO!!!